Self-pity gives us the sense
that we are warranted
in blaming circumstance
for our problems.
It hinges on the alluring thought
that our failures and flaws
are the fault of our abusers,
our colonizers,
our parents,
and society at large;
they are the reason
we're messed up.
Self-pity is a tight knot
that serves to ensure
that our future
is the same as our past.
To heal and transform
— to tap into our full potential —
we must break the cycle of self-pity.
For this, there is no antidote
more powerful
than renunciation
of the habit of
self-referential sense-making,
that circular trap of trying to
prove or disprove our self-worth.
“I am great”
and “I am a loser”
both arise from
the same mind habit:
Self-obsession.
Self-pity is nothing
but an action of mind
that allows the past
to dictate the future.
It is a limiting view
that perpetuates
samsaric discontentment.
We do it because we are afraid
of taking responsibility
for our inner richness,
for our power;
the power to create,
the power shape our life,
the power to write
the rest of our story.
Self-pity and self-aggrandizement
go round and round
constricting inward
until we feel frozen,
unable to sense the pulse
of life within us
and our own boundless creativity.
The whole affliction
of self-assessing,
of grasping for scraps
of so-called self-esteem,
is suffocating.
The act itself
is riddled with anxiety.
Intuitively, we know
it is game that can never
be won.
And yet,
anytime we want,
we can just stop.
This sacred stop
— a divine NO —
is what mystics call
renunciation;
a sword that cuts
the knot
of self-perpetuated
affliction.
We stop because
we don't ultimately know
why things happened
the way they did.
We stop because blame
is a dead end.
We stop because mind
can never solve to riddle
of self-esteem.
We stop because
the pain of perpetuation
is just too unbearable.
At the moment
of renunciation
a whole new world emerges.
We become single-pointedly
focused on
how to live fully
here and now.
We play in a field
of cohesive action,
and plant seeds
that decrease suffering
and increase freedom and joy.
For this to happen,
the mind has to arrive
at a new perspective,
one that represents
a wider view of cause and effect.
Whatever we repeat
will be repeated.
That's the physics of karma.
Past pains happened.
It is enough that we feel them fully;
that’s all we are responsible for.
Then, we need to live
from freshness
right now.
There is a sense
of lightness
in it,
a resilience.
As we reclaim accountability
for our lives
we make changes
that are revolutionary,
changes that transform
what happened
into what will happen.
A new chapter
in the story
is unfolding.
We are writing
that chapter
right now.
Beyond Self-Pity